If it’s meant to be, it’s up to ME!

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If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.

A lesson in focusing on the positive.   

How many times have you heard people say, “That’s just my luck” or “Well, if it’s meant to be, I’ll get __________”.  I’ve caught myself saying that before in the past.  The whole “luck” comment is usually blurted out in the midst of a rough or chaotic day…  a day where things went wrong usually because of a lack of planning on my part.  Low gas alert goes off on my car on the middle of a trip out of town…  “Ah, just my luck!”  My drink that I placed on the console of the car instead of a cup-holder, because the cup holders are full of coins, another cup, etc…  I take off from the gas station (where I just filled up my “dry” car) and forget to move the cup because I’m in a hurry and the drink falls off of the console and goes everywhere…  “[Insert word of choice] Just my luck, today!”  I forget an appointment to pick up some items I had ordered…  “Ugh!  My life is so crazy today!  This just isn’t my day!”  Surely, you get the idea.  We’ve all had rough days, weeks, months… lives… at least at SOME point.

Now… I am definitely a praying, believing woman.  But, I have noticed over the years that many people go through life praying, wishing, wanting, but not doing.  I’ve seen many people who have wanted and wished for change in their lives (in one form or another), but never really DO anything to move that change along.  They never push themselves to make any changes because “Well, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.”  Man!  How many times in my life have I said that to people?  I’m sure it’s countless.  Of course, I always said it in a positive tone, as to be uplifting and a way to relieve them of worry somehow.  But, now, I wonder how enabling that phrase is.  It insinuates that we don’t have control of what is going on in our lives.  Certainly, God is not looking on us expecting us to sit idly, never pushing forward in our lives and to then just leave everything up to chance.  I am certain that He does not want to make every step for us.  That is the beauty of free will.  It can be a blessing or a beast!  Does God have the ultimate say?  You betcha!  But, that does not mean that we go through life letting life live us instead of us living life.

I remember listening to a goal-setting seminar by the late Zig Ziglar and he talked about a woman who approached him after one of his seminars.  She talked about how she hated her job, the people she worked with drove her crazy.  She didn’t see how THIS seminar was going to help HER.  She didn’t really feel like SHE was the one who should have been listening to that information.  She wanted to know what she could do about THEM, how she could better deal with THEM, because THEY were the problem.  Of course, any of you who have heard Zig Ziglar or read any of his books know that he was a very popular personal development “guru”.  And, personal development is just that… PERSONAL (that means YOU) development.  It’s not social development, interpersonal development, etc.  You work on yourself before you “work” on other people.  This has been something that has given me a good deal of enlightenment about myself over the past few years.

I KNOW the areas in my life that need work.  I am open to fixing them.  I work on it every single day.  Do I falter?  You bet I do.  But, I just re-set and push forward.

So, back to the lady at the Ziglar seminar.

Zig gives her an “exercise” to do…  Write everything that your job provides you down on a piece of paper (insurance, vacation, financial peace of mind, retirement, etc.).  I believe he had her read it daily.  She saw him again at another seminar several months later.

The story she tells him is hilarious to listen to.

She proceeds to describe to him how everyone at her job started changing.  THEY were easier to deal with, THEY didn’t annoy her nearly as much, and she was actually ENJOYING her work environment.  It proves the point that we have so many choices to make in our lives.

In actuality, no one in her office changed.  She changed!  SHE was easier to deal with.  SHE wasn’t nearly as annoyed by menial things.  SHE was making the office environment more enjoyable.  And all because she started putting a positive light on things by focusing (not knowingly) on the benefits that her job offered her.  You may not have the option to leave a job that you hate, but you can certainly make a CHOICE to come in with a positive attitude, change up some of your routines there, do some trouble shooting to see how you can avoid the jerk that works 3 cubicles down from you.  Maybe take a different route in the office or maybe get to know them a little better.  Who knows what they might be dealing with in their life?

And, don’t be afraid to ask for what YOU want in life.  If the answer at the time is NO, well, at least you asked.  Now, you can find out WHY the answer is no and establish a plan.  But, WHAT IF THE ANSWER IS “YES”?????  Wow!  WHAT IF?????  Would that be crazy?!?!  What would that mean for you?

So, instead of “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen to me”, focus on “If it’s meant to be, it’s UP TO ME”.  Take control of your destination.  Don’t let someone else drive your life car.  It’s YOUR CAR!  Get in the darn thing, grab your map, shift into drive and put the pedal to the metal!

 

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